


36 Questions

by Schittsbudd



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22378483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schittsbudd/pseuds/Schittsbudd
Summary: A silly idea I got in my head one night and just started typing. I don't love it, it's certainly not my best work, but nevertheless I wrote it so here it is.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77





	36 Questions

**Author's Note:**

> A silly idea I got in my head one night and just started typing. I don't love it, it's certainly not my best work, but nevertheless I wrote it so here it is.

It was Saturday night, and Patrick and David were sprawled out on Patrick’s sofa, snuggled into one another. David was resting his head on Patrick’s chest, Patrick stroking circles into David’s back with his left hand as his right held up his book. It was a beautifully domestic, comfortable silence.  
David scrolled through his phone, indulging himself in some online window shopping. Currently, he was on an outlet site eyeing up a black Helmut Lang hoodie with white paint splatter detail, and assessing whether it looked too much like cum.  
Suddenly, he dropped his phone to his thigh with a heavy sigh, and drew his eyes to the ceiling.

“I’m bored!” He declared.

Patrick, not even directing his attention away from his book, responded to his outburst (which was not unusual).

“Well, go and get a book.”

Another sigh.

“I don’t wanna read a book.”

It was Patrick’s turn to sigh now, dropping his right arm down to the floor and discarding his novel there before curling his arms around David’s shoulders into an embrace.

“Then what do you want to do, David?”

David tilted his chin up towards his fiance with a sly smile, his eyes twinkling. 

“Maybe a game?”

“A game? What kind of game?”

“I don’t know; I’m just throwing it out there.”

Patrick kissed the top of David’s temple.

“Oh!” David said, his eyes widening in that way that Patrick found completely endearing. “Have you ever heard of the 36 questions?”

Patrick chuckled.

“Like, a specific 36 questions, or…?”

David rolled his eyes.  
“Okay, so there’s like… this quiz… well, maybe not a quiz, but like… a questionnaire, and they say that if two people ask each other these 36 questions they’ll fall in love with each other.”

Patrick smiled, a tight-lipped smile with his eyes glittering; the one he always did when David was being utterly endearing.

“Well, I’m sorry if this is coming as a surprise, David... but I’m already in love with you.”

David rolled his eyes once again, but smiled.

“Well, I just think… if we’re going to be married… maybe we might learn more about each other.”

“I’d like to think we already know each other pretty well.”

Another kiss to David’s temple. But David was sitting up, out of his arms, and turning to look into those gorgeous round, brown eyes.

“Come on; it’ll be fun!”

Patrick sighed. “Okay.”

David shifted his weight fully off of Patrick and turned to face him, crossing his legs underneath him on the sofa as he began scrolling through his phone. Patrick sat up too, shifting the cushion behind his back so he could lean more comfortably against the arm of the sofa.  
After a few moments, David looked up. “Got it!” 

“Okay, so what do we do? Are you just gonna ask me questions, or…?”

“No,” David cut him off, “we are going to ask each other questions. I can ask the first one, and then we both answer, and then the next one I’ll hand you the phone so you can ask me, and vice versa.”

“Seems simple enough,” Patrick nodded. “Hit me.”

David smiled, charmed by his fiance’s willingness to indulge him when he got into one of these moods.

“Okay, so… first question: if you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?”

Patrick pursed his lips in concentration. 

“Hmm… do they have to be alive?”  
David shrugged. “It doesn’t say. But I think we can fantasise a bit.”

“Okay, then… my grandmother.”

David smiled warmly.

“Is that too mushy? Am I supposed to say John Lennon or something?”

“No. That’s perfect.” David already looked like he could cry.

“Okay. Well... your turn.”

“Oh easy.”

Patrick smiled. There were three names at the top of his head, and he knew it would be one of them.

“You.”

Patrick’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

“Me?!”

“Yup, you.”

“But we have dinner together every night! You can invite anyone. In the world!”

“Yep. And it would still be you.”

“Awww. David…” Patrick said in that entirely endeared Patrick way. “Who knew you were so mushy?”

David thrust his phone toward his fiance. 

“Okay, just read the thing.”

Patrick cleared his throat.

“Would you like to be famous, and in what way?”

David contorted his face, incredulously. “Well, I kinda already have been. I mean, not famous famous… but known, I guess.”

“Yeah, so would you go back to that then?”

David thought harder this time, his face going through a journey of expressions, none of which Patrick could quite put his finger on.

“Well, the money was nice. The places I got to go to were awesome. But honestly, no. My life with you is everything I want now.”

They smiled at each other.

“So how about you?”

Patrick sighed.

“I mean, I guess it’s something I think about from time to time. You know I love performing. My music is so important to me, so… I guess I think about what it would be like to be known for that, you know? Selling out concerts, having people know music that I’ve actually written and played and sang. That would be cool. But in terms of actually being famous? I don’t know if I could handle it. I’d want my privacy.”

“That makes sense.”

“I don’t know if that answers the question. I guess the answer is probably no. I love what we have now more than any of that. But yes, I have wondered.”

He passed the phone back to David, who continued onto the next question.

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?”

“Well, yeah, sometimes. I mean if we have to contact a customer about an order then obviously I need to know what I’m going to tell them about it.”

“I think it means, like, do you sometimes talk it out? Like, predict what they’ll say too and stuff?”

“Oh. Then no.”

“Hmm.”

“You?”

“Oh, all the time. You see once, I was calling this really cute guy, and I was a little high, and I accidentally called him by my own name.”

Patrick chuckled at the memory, just like he had the first time he had heard David’s voicemail.

“So yeah, now I’m pretty anxious when it comes to that kind of stuff.”

He handed the phone to Patrick.

“What would constitute a perfect day for you?”

David leaned his head back as his eyes closed and he hummed deeply.

“Uuuuuuugh!”

He looked over to the fireplace and tapped at his chin in thought.

“Well, I would obviously be waking up in bed next to you. Um, and then we would get brunch somewhere nice. Not the cafe. Maybe we would go shopping, or on a spa day. Maybe a bit of both. And then dinner at a fancy, romantic restaurant… before we spend the evening with you fucking me into the mattress.”

“So romantic”, Patrick teased.

“Okayyyyyyyyy, I’m sure yours is cheesy as fuck so just get on with it.”

“Okay well same morning scenario. But for me we would probably be on vacation somewhere; somewhere we could take in some art, culture, good food… maybe Italy?”

David hummed and smiled into the fantasy.

“Then I think we would have to go to a concert in the evening. We would dance, sing, be happy. Kiss a lot without caring about the whole town seeing us.”

“Do we care about that?”

“Well, no, but it would just be nice to be somewhere we can do it freely without worrying about bumping into your Dad, or Ronnie giving me disgusted looks.”

“Fair.”

“And then late at night we’d go somewhere where we could look at the stars. And that’s it.”

“So, your dream day scenario involves us fucking exactly zero times?”

Patrick rolled his eyes.  
“Well then we could go back to the hotel and make love… I just think there’s so many things I would enjoy doing with you that aren’t just that. Plus, I can have you anytime I want.”

“Oh you can, can you?” David teased, his eyebrow quirking.

“Oh I’m pretty sure”, Patrick retorted, tossing the phone to David.

“When did you last sing to yourself, and to someone else?”

“I sing to you every day.”

“At me.”

“Okay, at you every day. Easy one. You?”

“Well the last time I sang in front of people was at the karaoke night at that hotel Stevie dragged me to just so she could abandon me to screw Emir. And to myself? Hmm…”

“It was this morning, in the shower.”

“I do not sing in the shower!”

Patrick let out a full belly laugh. 

“Yes, you do!”

David raised his eyebrows, his mouth forming a large ‘O’ in his shocked but amused face.

“You were singing 9 to 5!”

David scrunched his face at the realisation Patrick was right, and slight embarrassment that he had been heard. He pushed the phone into Patrick’s lap with a hmph.

“Oh, deep”, Patrick said as he read the next question. “If you were to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”

“Well as much as I despise the thought of aging, I think I would have to choose mind. I want to keep my clarity.”

“Yeah, but if you had the mind of when you were 30, does that mean you wouldn’t be able to become any wiser? Like, the opposite could be true as well. Your mind wouldn’t disintegrate, but would it still learn?”  
David rethought.

“Well, if that was the case, then it would have to be body. Which seems entirely unfair because that would be a win-win situation.” He smirked. “Plus the fact, I hadn’t met you, or moved here, or had any of this happen by the time I was thirty. So I would be a different person.”

“I’d still love you.”

“You would not.”

Patrick smirked.

“Well if we take it to mean that, then I’d choose the same.”

“It seems like a pretty easy answer.”

He grabbed the phone.

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

“Nope.”

“None at all?”

“None. I don’t like to think about it. I mean, it happens to us all, and there’s how I’d like to go, but that’s not the same. So no, no hunches.”

“Hmm. Before you ask, I’d rather not answer this question”, David said, passing the phone back to his fiance, and Patrick completely understood. There had been so many things David had gone through in the past that he had just barely began to disclose to Patrick, but Patrick knew that a question like this would just resurface a lot of the anxieties that had spawned in those days, and he didn’t want David to go through that.

“Of course. Ooh! Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

David half-laughed.

“Great taste in men?”

Patrick laughed too, nodding.

“I’d say so, yeah.”

“Umm… we both like to read… aaand… we both want the same things out of life.”

“I agree.”

“No, that’s cheating, you can’t just steal my answers!”

Patrick chuckled.

“Okay, okay. Well… we’re both ambitious. I think we have the same sense of humour. And… we’re both the best we’ve ever had.”

David raised his eyebrows, taking back the phone. “Fair. For what in life are you most grateful?”

Patrick shrugged, as if the answer couldn’t be any more obvious, and they both answered at the same time.

“You.”

David mockingly threw up as Patrick retrieved the phone from his lap.

“What are we? Like an 80-year old married couple?!”

“Not yet.”

David mock-retched again.

“You are so cheesy.”

“If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

“Oof, that’s difficult.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean there’s the obvious kind of stuff someone could expect me to say, but it all worked out okay in the end, didn’t it? So does anything really need to have changed? I mean, I wouldn’t be the person I am now without my parents hardly talking to me, or my sister being a selfish bitch, or being practically raised by Adalina.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. It probably sounds like a cop-out, but that’s how I feel.”

“It’s not a ‘cop-out’; it’s totally valid.”

“So what about you? I’m guessing nothing; you have the perfect family.”  
Patrick winced. David’s words hadn’t intended to hurt, but they still stung something deep within him he felt he probably hadn’t communicated to his partner.

“They’re not perfect.”

“Oh, come on! Clint and Marcy are the sweetest parents ever! You probably had the whole soccer mom experience and came home to home cooked meals and apple pie every day!”

Patrick bit down on his bottom lip, hard.

“It wasn’t not like that, but it doesn’t mean there’s things I wouldn’t change.”

“Okay. Well, like what then?”

Patrick looked away, gazing somewhere over his left shoulder.

“I guess, we would have talked more. About the things that mattered, at least.”

David looked utterly confused, like he couldn’t believe there would be a single thing in Patrick’s upbringing that wasn’t absolutely charming and perfect. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I wasn’t around the same kind of people you were. Everyone in my town had exactly the same life. Nobody was different.”

“Oh.”

Suddenly, David understood.

“I didn’t know I was allowed to be anything other than what I saw. I didn’t know anything else. You know I love my parents; they were the best. They gave me everything they had. But I just think if I had known, if I had seen more… I would have… figured things out a little quicker.”

David nodded and placed his hand over Patrick’s.

“That makes total sense.” He smiled, reassuringly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Let’s move on.” 

“Okay, take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. We are not doing that.”

“Nope.”

“We already know that.”

“For sure. Move on.”

“If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?”

“To play another instrument.”

“Patrick, you play like five instruments! Why would you choose that?”

Patrick shrugged.

“I wanna know more. I’ve never learned a brass instrument. Maybe the saxophone!”

“Oh God!” David looked utterly offended at the thought, and Patrick laughed. “I’m greedy. I wanna be good at everything. You go.”

“Hmm. I don’t know. Maybe a language? Japanese sounds fun.”

“Why would you ever need to know how to speak Japanese?”

“I’ll have you know, I was in Japan frequently when I was younger, and there were a lot of situations where knowing the language could have been very helpful. Especially that situation Alexis got herself into with that guy pretending to be a member of that J-Pop group in Kiss Kiss…” He trailed off in thought.

“Okay. Language it is then. How far into this are we?”

“Um…” David looked down at the phone. “Only question 13.” He handed it to Patrick. “Why? Are you not having fun?”

“No, it’s fine. I was just wondering.”

David began chewing on his lip and Patrick saw his anxiety physically creep in. He put his hand on David’s bicep.

“David, it’s fun. I’m enjoying it. I like talking to you.” David eased a little under him. “So… if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”

David sighed deeply. “I’m so glad these questions are easy and superficial and not at all introspective.”

“Agreed. Although, do you think it would be able to make you fall in love if it asked questions like, ‘what’s your favourite ice cream flavour?’”

David raised an eyebrow. “I’ve fallen for people over less.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

David returned to thinking.

“I’d want to know whether Alexis actually went out with Jared Leto after Sienna Miller’s halloween party.”

Patrick laughed. It was such a David answer, to be able to have any piece of knowledge he wanted and yet this is what he chose.

“Fair enough. I don’t think I’d want to know anything.”

David looked puzzled now.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know. It’s just such a deep question; I thought you might have a deep answer for it.”

“Yours was about Jared fucking Leto!”

“Yeah but that’s me! I can’t handle any other heavier knowledge. Plus I really am curious. But anyway… I thought you’d wanna know other things.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” David threw his hands up. “...whether we’re together 20 years down the line… or whether you’ll have a big family!”

Patrick knitted his eyebrows together.

“Well, I asked you to marry me, so I’m kinda anticipating that we’ll be together 20 years from now. And I already do have a big family.”

David rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant.”

Patrick let out a shallow sigh. He wasn’t sure this was a conversation they were ready for.  
“Yep, I do. But, no. I don’t think I want to know. Not right now. I’d rather just live our life and see where it takes us.”

David’s heart skipped a beat at the singular, “our life”. It was their life. Yes they were individuals, and yes they had parts of themselves that were only for themselves, but David still hadn’t settled into the feeling that Patrick had asked him to marry him. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with David. He wanted to create one together. David coughed back his feelings as his eyes glanced down at the four gold rings sitting perfectly on his fingers, and instead picked up the phone to move hastily onward.

“Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”

“You should have asked me that two weeks ago”, Patrick said with a wink. “That’s all I’d been wanting to do for a long time now.”

“You’re sweet.”

“It’s true.”

“Is it sad if mine is really boring?”

“Nope, it can be anything.”

“Okay, well I’ve been wanting to host a wine and cheese evening in the store, but I can’t figure out a great time to do it. And now I think we’ll be too busy with… other things.” He once again stole a glance at his rings.

“Well, I’m sure we can sort that out”, Patrick said with a smile, taking the phone. “What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?”

“The store.”

Patrick swallowed.

“Coming out to my parents.”

David grabbed his hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss his knuckles.

“So proud of you.”

“Scariest, best thing I’ve ever done.”

They let the moment sit for a beat before moving on.

“What do you value most in a friendship?”

Patrick exhaled in thought. “Okay, um… I guess integrity… fun… and trust.”

“Mmm. I would have to say honesty… a sense of humour… and also trust.”

“Cool. What is your most treasured memory?”

David’s eyes glittered. “The day you asked me to marry you.”

Patrick leaned in and kissed him. He remembered David’s eyes sparkling that same way right before he even asked the question, his foot throbbing, his knee sunk into the dirt as they stood at Rattlesnake Point. It was certainly up there for moments in his life.

“Can I take it yours is the same?” David asked, pulling away. “I mean, not to be presumptuous or anything.”

“Actually it’s not.” David’s face fell a little and Patrick rushed to reassure him. “Not that that’s not a very close second- it’s just… mine is the first night you kissed me.”

David smiled warmly at his fiance.

“I fell for you pretty much the moment I saw you, and even though I pretty much forced my way into your business-”

“- our business.”

“...our business… I never could have imagined that you would feel the same way. You were so… ethereal. Untouchable. I didn’t think that someone like you could ever like someone like me. Not to mention the fact that you had pretty much completely turned everything I thought I knew about myself on my head, and I had never felt that way about a guy before… or at least thought I had never felt that way… so yeah, the night you kissed me… it literally changed my life.”

David leaned in and kissed his fiance, trying to imitate exactly how he had done the very first time. It made his head heavy and his eyes glisten, and everything felt the same as it did then: everything was Patrick, Patrick, Patrick.  
He pulled away, but kept Patrick’s head clasped in his hands as he pressed their foreheads together.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They shared another chaste kiss and David cleared his throat as he took the phone from Patrick’s hand.

“What is your most terrible memory? Actually, do you mind if I don’t answer this one either? I know we’re probably not doing this right because we’re skipping over hard or uneasy ones but…”

“...as I said, David: we’re already in love, so this quiz isn’t gonna change how I feel about you or whatever. It’s just something to do. And while I am enjoying it, I’d rather not bring up anything that is not just uncomfortable, but traumatic for either of us. So I won’t answer it either.”

“Okay”, David agreed. “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?”

“Not a thing.”

“Me either.”

They smiled as David passed him the phone.

“Oh no, actually there is one thing:”

Patrick looked up quizzically.

“...I’d be here every day.”

“You are here every day.”

“No, I mean… we’d be living together.”

“Ah.”

Truth be told, David practically lived at Patrick’s apartment anyway. He slept there most nights, his toiletries were in the bathroom, he had had input in any interior decor choices, and had plenty of clothes and underwear here to survive… but they hadn’t officially moved in together. This was still Patrick’s apartment, David’s clothes were still mainly contained to the garish honeymoon suite of Rosebud Motel, and he occasionally went back there and slept in what now felt like an even sadder single bed than what it was before.

“We should probably arrange to change that sometime soon”, Patrick said, smiling.

“I mean, if that’s what you want.”

“Probably wouldn’t do well to be married and living apart. I don’t put good bets on a marriage lasting long like that.”

David chuckled.

“Okay: what does friendship mean to you?”

“Didn’t we already have this question?”

“No, I think that was about three things you look for in a friendship.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Well this is a little deeper, I guess. Shall I answer first then?”

“Sure.”

“Well, for me, friendship is someone that I love being around, because I genuinely like who they are as a person and I know that I can trust them with being myself around, and who will respect that trust. Like you, or Stevie, or Alexis.”

“Ew! You consider my sister your friend?!”

“Of course I do.”

David groaned.

“I know you do too, even if you’d never admit it. But yeah, something like that. You go.”

“Okayyyyy…”, David dragged out. “I guess the same thing. Someone that I love and can have fun around, who will never judge me for being who I am, and that I can confide in.”

“Exactly.”

“I still think that’s just a long-winded way of saying the traits we said before, but whatever-” David shifted as he looked for the next question. “What roles do love and affection play in your life? Oh this is so sappy.”

“David, you’re the one who wanted to do this.”

“Yeah, I thought it would be a fun getting to know you thing, not a deep profound thing I’d have to actually put thought into!”

“Well, you get what you give. Anyway…” Patrick drawled, moving on to his answer. “Love, obviously, is a huge part of my life. The love of my family, my friends… you, obviously. I’m incredibly lucky to have always been surrounded by love, and I don’t know that I could live without it.”

David gave a tight-lipped smile, one that showed just how different his experience in that department had been.

“In terms of affection… well... “ Patrick looked around, as if trying to find the answer somewhere in the room. “It’s a bigger part of my life now than it ever has been.”

“What do you mean? You just said you’ve always been surrounded by love.”

“Yeah, but they’re not the same. I mean, my mom is affectionate; that’s her way of showing love, I guess. But for me I didn’t think it was. Not until you. Like… I was in a decade-long relationship that was always on and off, and you know that I did love Rachel - in whatever way that was - but I never thought to be affectionate with her. We didn’t really cuddle on the sofa or hold hands walking down the street or kiss all the time… and I guess I figured I was just a bit more like my Dad in a relationship. But then there was you… and well, I just couldn’t… still can’t… keep my hands off of you.”

David grasped his hands, echoing the sentiment.

“Now I just wanna touch you… all the time. I can’t stand not being near you. So yeah, that’s what I mean. And I guess there’s other things about it too that… well, that doesn’t matter.”

“No, tell me.”

Patrick shook his head, a little embarrassed. David squeezed his hands and encouraged him to look up at him and the reassurance in his eyes.

“You can tell me anything.”

“Well… I guess I didn’t know the level of affection that could come with… with sex.”

David nodded, understanding.

“I’ve never had that.”

“Wait… never?”

Patrick shook his head as David looked on incredulously. Patrick could be such a hopeless romantic in bed sometimes that David couldn’t imagine it would have been any other way with the girls he had been with before, particularly Rachel. They had never explicitly talked about Patrick’s sex life before David - not that David particularly wanted to know - but he had just assumed Patrick was the same as he had always been.

“Nope. I guess sex… before… it just… it wasn’t a big deal to me. I was never really that into it; I thought maybe I just had a low libido or something. It was just something you did every so often if you were in a relationship… but when Rachel and I… when we…”

David nodded, urging him to continue. He wanted Patrick to know that he was safe with him; that he could communicate and let out whatever he needed to. Even if he was talking about fucking his ex.

“...when we had sex, it was more about the release than anything else. Or I was just trying to make her happy. I didn’t know that it could be like… like when we…”

He shook his head again.

“I don’t even know if I’m making sense.”

“You’re making perfect sense, and I feel the same way.”

Patrick turned to look at David now.

“You do?”

“Yeah, of course I do. Before you, sex was just sex. I mean, I think I liked it a hell of a lot more than you did, and I did plenty of it. It could be fun and playful, or darker and rougher, or heated and intense… but I didn’t know all the things I could like about it that I spent 20 years not experiencing before you.”

Patrick remained silent, and David took it as an indication to continue.

“I like it when we hold hands. I like it when we stroke each other. I like the long languidness of entwining our bodies together in the morning, or after a hard day. I like it when you tell me you love me. I like it when we kiss... “ He lost himself for a moment. “God, no, I love it when we kiss…”

He leaned forward and kissed Patrick deeply, humming a little into his mouth and feeling something in his stomach tingle. Kissing Patrick was unlike anything else. The sheer power of it, the sheer… affection. He hoped he had expressed everything he meant to in that moment, just with his lips, and when they pulled apart, David wanted more than anything to keep going. He could spend forever kissing this man.

“You are getting distracted”, Patrick said.

“So what?” David retorted with a quirk of his lip.

“Come on; we’re this far into it, let’s not stop now!”

“Ugh, fine!” David relinquished

Patrick once again picked up the phone, ignoring the knot that had begun to twist in his belly. He loved winding his partner up.

“Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. GO!”

“Hmm… your ambitiousness.”

“Your creativity.”

“Your confidence.”

“Your ravishingly good looks.”

David laughed.

“Your funniness.”

“Your resilience.”

“Your kind heart.”

“Your smile.”

“That’s a feature, not a characteristic.”

“I still love it.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Fine: your stubbornness.”

“Your stubbornness!”

“Your attention to detail.”

“Your knowledge.”

“Your self-expression.”

“Your courage.”

“Your ass.”

“Patrick!”

Patrick laughed. “Okay, pretty sure that was more than five.”

“Yeah, I think that will do. Anyway…”

“How close and warm is your family?Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?”

“Very, and yes.”

“Okay. So for the first part I’d say: we’re getting there. And the second: not necessarily. But I feel terrible saying that. Like, I wanna be aware of my privilege; I obviously had way, way more opportunities and money and stuff than most people. But I was also very visibly queer from a very young age, and that wasn’t always easy, and as you know, my family wasn’t exactly the closest. So yeah. I don’t feel like it was happier, despite the money, but I was a lot luckier than most people in many other ways.”

“Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. This one is pretty similar, I guess: how do you feel about your relationship with your mother?”

David shrugged.

“It’s okay. I’ve always had a closer relationship with her than Alexis had. But then again she always wanted sons, and I think her son turning out to be queer just… fit with her dramatic personality, if you will. She’s never really been like… world’s number one mom or anything, but our personalities go well together and I do… you know, care for her.”

“It’s just us; you can say it.”

“Fine. I love her.”

“There you go.” Patrick smiled, satisfied. “Well, you already know mine. I love my Mom. She’s one of my best friends.”

David faux-wretched.

“Shut up; you love her too.”

David rolled his eyes and snatched the phone.

“Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”

David trailed off.

“What the fuck does that even mean?!”

“We… are getting married!”

David’s eyes lit up.

“We run a thriving run business. And we are very much in love.”

“Okay, okay. We are doing a stupid quiz that was my ill-conceived idea… we are both relieved Cabaret is over even though it was wonderful… and we should go to bed soon.”

“Agreed on all counts”, Patrick chuckled. “Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

“Shopping advice! Everyone in this town has tragic taste.”

“My love of sports. Only thing I miss about my hometown, other than my parents.”

“Ugh. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know… well, we’re already friends so there’s nothing else we need to share. I’ll move on.Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”

“Okay, so something deeper than the traits we were listing, I guess?”

“I guess so.”

“Okay… well… I love that although you have a complicated past, when you trust someone, you break down those walls brick by brick and let people in inch by inch to see a more vulnerable side of you that is so warm and loving and trusting, and just… wonderful. And I love, and feel privileged that you’ve allowed me to see that.”

David tipped his head back as if he was going to cry, the exact same way he had the first time Patrick told him he loved him.

“Oh God, stop. You can’t be this cute.”

Patrick gave a cheeky smile. “Sorry, I just am.”

“Hmmmmmmm…” David breathed out. “Mine is really shallow and terrible.”

“Hit me.”

“Well, I really like that despite the fact you’ve only ever slept with people you weren’t completely attracted to, and I’m the first person of a different gender you’ve had sex with… you are a devastatingly good lay.”

Patrick burst out into full-blown laughter.

“Really?!”

“Really. I mean, you certainly know your way around, if you catch my drift.”

“Well, we have the same parts. You could say that’s easier.”

“I’m still thankful for it. And like that about you. A lot.”

“Hmm. Moving on...share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.”

“My whole life is a series of embarrassing moments.”

“Okay, then pick one.”

“I need to think; you go first.”

“Okay. Uuuhhh… oh! I called my teacher “Mom” once.”

“Seriously? Who hasn’t, Patrick?”

Patrick’s face dropped.

“Okay, well I don’t have anything that embarrassing. Except… well there was something but you’ll probably say the same thing.”

“Try me.”

“My mom caught me masturbating.”

“Yikes! Okay, haven’t had that one myself so I’ll allow it. Oh God I can just imagine the horror on Marcy’s face as she walked in to see her sweet boy doing the five knuckle shuffle!”

“Pretty much.”

“Ugh.”

“Okay, your turn.”

“Hmm. Oh well Alexis caught me having sex.”

“David that really doesn’t seem like something that surprising.”

“It was with Kirsten Dunst.”

“I would venture to say that’s less embarrassing.”

“She was with Jake Gyllenhaal. While he and Kirsten were dating. Going to my room, looking for condoms.”

“Wow, okay. Yeah, you can have that.”

David gave a satisfied smirk.

“I can’t believe you’ve slept with Kirsten Dunst!”

“Oh, yeah. She’s really lovely as well. We were going out for a bit. I didn’t mean to break she and Jake up, but well… Alexis and Jake had as much to do with that as we did so… next question?”

Patrick nodded.

“When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”

Patrick deliberated for a moment.

“So the last time in front of another person was… I think it was the day we got engaged? And by myself… probably the same day, yeah. It was emotional.”

“I think mine was the same.”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You cried on the closing night of Cabaret when you told me how proud of me you were. I don’t know about on your own, but I’m gonna venture to say it was more recent than that.”

David blinked through raised eyebrows.

“Perhaps…”

“Next! Tell your partner something that you like about them already. Do we have to? We’ve done like 3 iterations of this already!”

“Move on.”

“What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? Wow, that’s a sudden mood change.”

“Vibe check indeed. Um… rape.”

“Can I just agree there? This is depressing.”

“Yeah, sure. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? Oh God we really are going out of this quiz heavy, aren’t we?”

“God, yeah. I think… I think I’d regret not having the opportunity to come out to all my friends and family in person. And the reason I haven’t... is because I haven’t been back home, I guess. But maybe that’s an excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse. This question wants to trick you into giving a timed answer, when the truth is that even if you want to tell someone something, there isn’t always a great time to do it, or a time limit on when you’re ready to. Especially if that thing is “hey! I’m gay and I’m marrying a man! That whole engaged to a woman thing was just a blip!”

Patrick huffed out a laugh. “I guess. So how about you?”

David rolled his eyes and shook his head in that way he did when there was something obvious he wanted to communicate without actually saying. “It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not stupid.”

David pursed his lips tight and looked deep into Patrick’s eyes. It always felt when David looked at him like that that he was still searching… searching for some sign that Patrick didn’t take him seriously, that there was a crack in Patrick’s facade ready to break out and prove David’s natural protective instincts that he couldn’t, in fact, trust anyone. Eventually, he sighed.

“I would…” there was the head shake again. “...I would tell my family how much I actually… care about them.”

Patrick smiled. Despite none of them being amazing with expressing their feelings, he knew the Roses cared about each other… no, loved each other. They were actually closer than many families he knew, but he was sure that any one of them would be mortified to learn of that fact.  
He stroked David’s arm. 

“Not stupid.”

David passed him the phone with a satisfied smile, his feelings vindicated by Patrick, because of course they were. 

Patrick looked down at the next question and huffed out a heavy breath.

“Ooookay… your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?”

“Oh God!” David exclaimed, appalled at the thought. “I mean, we don’t exactly have much anymore, but…” He rubbed his temples. “Do all my clothes count together? Or would I have to pick one piece?”

“I think just one, David, as implied in the question.”

David shot him a glare. “It’s too hard. I don’t know.” Suddenly he looked up, as if an idea popped into his head. “Am I wearing my jewellery?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hmm… I probably would, yeah. So that doesn’t count, right? Because it’s already on my body.”

“I guess…”

David threw his hands down. “Okay: my mother’s favourite wig.”

Patrick’s eyes widened in shocked question. “Sorry, why your mother’s wig?”

David knit his eyebrows together as if the answer couldn’t have been any more obvious.

“Um, because I don’t really have anything worth saving of my own at the motel and my mother has had Caroline for 40 years.”

“Okay, that’s very generous.”

“Yeah, I know right?” David beamed. “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? … Oh God, is there a death that’s not disturbing?!”

“That is a super weird question.”

“Seriously.”

“I guess we have to answer; I mean we can’t just keep skipping can we? So… I guess, my mom.”

David nodded, understanding. Patrick and his mother were very close, no reason needed to be given.

“If I had to choose…” David began, turning the question on himself, “I think it would be my Dad. I mean, this is a very dark scenario put oneself in regardless, but yeah. He kinda… keeps us all together. He’s always been the one who worked hard to keep us… a family. I don’t…” David coughed a little. “...I don’t know what we’d do without him.”

It was silent for a beat.

“Anyway, that was dark. What’s the next question?”

“The last question.”

“Wow. Cool.”

“Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.”

David’s face twisted.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start with that!”

“Same here.”

“It feels wrong to skip the last question, though…”

“It’s a stupid question.”

“Oh my god so stupid.”

They laughed, and Patrick grabbed for David’s hand.

“C’mere.”

David slid across the sofa and into Patrick’s arms, resting his head on his chest as his fiance lay back into a reclined position once more.

“So, there is one more question.”

“Hmm?”

“Did that make you fall in love with me?”

David twisted his neck to look up at Patrick’s face.

“Eh. You’re okay, I guess.”

“Good to know, good to know.”

Patrick began to stroke circles into David’s lower back, and he could feel David smiling into the muscles of his chest.

“David?”

“Yah?”

“I can’t wait to marry you.”


End file.
